You can only stare at a blank piece of paper for so long,.. Or in my case a few years. Almost three to be exact. In my defence, this paper has been staring back at me even harder.
I have never been a star at beginnings. My whole life has been a string of attempts. When I was seven I decided I needed a book club in my life.
I was very succesful in getting my stuffed animals hyped for this club, but as soon as the temperature arose my motivation declined. I choose playing outside over the club within a heartbeat. Luckily the other members were very understanding. At age 12 I was obsessed with Buffy the vampire slayer (I am not overreacting,.. I was obsessed, like really, you can’t even imagine). So together with a friend who was equally enthusiastic we decided to slay the vampires in our neighborhood as well. But then, as soon as I realized that meant just sitting around waiting for the vampires to appear I got distracted and realized starting a dance group would be way more satisfying.. attempt three,..
When I got older my ambitions got a little more serious, the dance group actually happened, I started a student activity movement in high school and I was teaching Dutch to new international students in university. Some of my projects actually worked out and became more than just attempts. However, never for long… I guess you can say I am easily distracted. At the end of university I realized that the rest of my life could not just consist of attempts. I got it together and worked my but off.
I rolled into online marketing by accident. I was never planning to make it my career it just happened. Now, after working in online media for 5 years (omg I can’t believe I have been working as a grown up for five years already!!), I feel restless again.
Obviously I felt restless for a brief moment already 3 years ago, since that is when I wanted to start this site in the first place. The purpose of this “blog” switched every other month, I think I have written no less than five “first posts” before… all on different topics.
So what makes this time different, what is it right at this moment, when 2017 just started that makes this more than just an attempt?
I know it sounds cheesy, still a little flakey and almost juvenal but I just feel it. I have felt it before I must admit. But now, I really feel it. It’s time, I have gotten to know myself better this year. I know now more than ever what I am capable of. So far, in the past year I have switched jobs, moved to a different city, went on vacation by myself and put myself out of my comfort zone to gain new experiences.
What I did, why I did it, what it brought me and the new insights that will take me into the future a new and improved women will all be expressed on these pages. (wow that sounded way more Elle Woods then I wanted!)
Why the need to pollute the internet with more brain farts of yet another (almost) thirty-something who needs to clear her head and has the arrogance to think that anyone is interested in these stories? Well,…
I don’t. I don’t think I have the answers for everything, and I don’t necessarily believe that others are interested in reading about it. But, I just think the people in this world have the tendency to dissociate themselves from one another and even though the internet can be considered having
a big part in this, I also think this wonderful world wide web can bring us all a little bit closer. Maybe someone on this planet can actually benefit from my findings and find comfort in reading about me stumbling through life.
So, here goes nothing,… read it, don’t read it, love it, hate it, laugh, cry,
do whatever you want! I surely will do what I want and if you want you can read all about it here. This is me, here I go <3